T_T

I miss you. I just want you to know. And I need to know if you ever miss me too. Cause this distance and not-keep-in-touch thingy is killing me. 

Ah?

Sometimes I didnt mean to miss you that much. I mean, I dont want to do so. I've been trying as much as I could to avoid to think about you. And the less I care, I should be happier right? But naaaah. The less I try to forget and pretend I am better without you, in my mind, the more I cant concentrate in my world to not think about this. Sigh..

And to be honest, I'm trying not to talk about this with my friends cause I'm afraid if I do so, they'll think I am obsessed with him. Like duh, I'm not. If I am then, I will not be able to stand like this. To pretend like nothing happen. I will do something stupid. But I am not. I am not obsessed. I am just, want em like someone. Huh. Like you never feel like this before.

Whatever it is, I want you here. Cause a friend and you are different. Way  different.

Holidays

It's been awhile since my last update. It is holiday right now and It's suck cause I do nothing. Ahhh

Exam -__-

Yeah this is like freakin me now.

English - Okayy

Bio - O.O I am in shocked!

BM - Okayy again

Sejarah - 50/50

And tomorrow, is math. Next week, physic, addmath,

Pai and Chem and I am all for holiday!!

Ya Allah, all I want for this exam is 7A. Slightly higher than PKBS 1. Or maybe 6A is already okay. I don't want anything lower than that. Please. Amin Amin :)

Teacher's Day

Happy Teacher's Day to all my teachers, especially those at Maher and Sk Zainab 1

Me love chuu guys :*
Thank you for being such a great teachers,

You guys are the best!!

In relate

"Did you know that kind of feeling when you're thinking, you and him were couples but actually you are not? Did you know that kind of feeling when you're thinking you and him were not couples but actually you are? And it keeps twisting all around like it doesn't have its ending. And you have this kind of confuse feeling. Because he told you that he loves you and he showed that he cares and all of sudden he just disappear. And then, we just don't know what to do cause we are so lost without him."

This is my feeling right now. This is where I stand straight to think what should I do. And I really don't know how to describe it with words. Cause there is no suitable words for this kind of feeling. If I would say I started to love him, you will say I lie, cause I only know him for like 3 months. But actually I think I do, cause that things makes me feel so, strong and wanted and confident. Did you know the only thing that make me still hold on to something that I'm not sure is your words, your promises?

"You promise me that you won't leave me, you promise me that even though we're not texting you'd still love me and like me, your words saying that you'll only love me and there's no other girl. You keep telling me to have faith in you. You're asking me to wait. You're telling me that I am the one. You're keep saying that you'll only like me, only me"

That! That kind of words keep revolving in my head, saying I should trust you. Have faith in you. Stand still without you. Cause I know you will come back in matter of time. Yes, saying this "that you will come back" is something I am not so sure. Tell me how am I supposed to be so sure when we're already losing each other for almost a month and half.

I lie. Yes, I did. Lying to my friends, to my best friends, and to myself. Telling that I am confidently okay with this situation but.. I am not that strong. I can't tell this to anyone, even my best friends, cause I don't know how to tell them. Yes, I cry, crying, almost every single night, thinking why are you doing this to me. Is it my fault? Just what did I do that makes you change drastically? Is it really my fault? Tell me, cause I need to know. Reading all your texts, make me happy and how I wish things should go smoothly. I am not okay. So not okay. Cause every single day, hours, minutes, seconds I keep thinking about you. Yes, I miss you. I miss us. And I'm really sorry if I did anything wrong to you. I believe in you. I'll wait. No matter how long it'll going to take. I'll wait.

Hehe

"You seem quiet shy but you're oh so cute"
Damn, you're cute. And I am so so happy ^^

That

I'm hurt.

Yea, I am cause we are not like we used to

I know, I saw that

I saw the face I saw the smile I saw the way you treat me

I did say, things gonna be different soon

But you didn't listen to me

It is happening and I cry

I'm sorry but I really don't know how to do the fake face

I'm smiling to please you, so that you know I'm damn happy you here

But as I said, things just so different

Maybe cause we're not together

And we're not having the same interest anymore

And now, I'm kinda sensitive

Yes, I am. So please stop.
I just miss the time when we all always being together all the time

Just that :(

少年たち

Yes, only one of them can make your dream come true

I've told my mom. 

She's okay.

And I am double okay :)

My friends also okay

Then I will do something to get you

Once I get, I'll never let you go :p

You

It is just so hard to say about it with words.

And so hard to admit it to other people that 

I can't handle it yet

I need a shoulder to cry on

And I wish that person is you

Thanks

All the things you said was a liar

You said that I'm being hypocrite

But the truth came out so soon

And its make me happy.

Thanks cause you make my work so much easier. :3

Something

Something or a word in your mind that you can't tell other. Yeah, it is hurt but what else can you do. Obviously, there is no choice. If you express it, the word, it may hurt the others. So, the best solution is to keep silent where no one will hurt and the truth remain silent.