Hidup

"Tatkala panas terik, aku harap hujan datang.
Tatkala hujan lebat, aku harap pelangi muncul.
Tatkala pelangi muncul, aku masih berharap.sesuatu yang lain akan datang."

I always wonder what do I want in my life? Is it love? Or something else?
I always wonder is this kind of life that I want? Cause it doesnt seem that perfect.
Or maybe I didnt even want perfection in my life?

Maybe I know the reason why Allah made me brighter than others in the family.
Because, He knows that I'm going to face something hard in the middle of hardness.
Because, He knows what's best for me.
Because, He knows that I need to prove that in the middle of hardness I can still achieve the best in my life.

And yes, I'm going to prove it.
To prove that I can.
To prove that I can survive.
To prove that I am tough.
To prove that I am the best!

With all the hardship now, may Allah ease everything for me in the future. InsyaAllah.

Espiyem

I don't think anyone know the existance of this blog. Hehe it is kinda fun actually. Like you can talk whatever you want cause no one will ever read this anyway. So, I'm going to face SPM really soon. In three days time. I am so nervous can die like this. I need to get straight A's. I need to prove to everyone that I can. Though with all this sort of problem, I need to prove to myself that I still can do it. Deep down, I know that I can do it. But I'm so freakin lazy to read and what not. Aaaa aliya. Please do something.

Truth

Yes, I knew the truth. Yes I just did. And it hurts me so bad. And I know, I had felt this for a very long time till the day before yesterday, when the truth reveal. When the truth was right in front me. Waving saying good bye. And all I can so just to watch it all go without saying anything cause I know till then, it is just not worth to try it all.

Asdfghjkl

I am so stressed. Okay I dont. But it seems I am sometimes. I just em Idk. Sometimes, I need someone to like spend their times with me. Like talk to me. Okay tbh, I feel a little bored and so-taknak-layan thingy when it comes to someone that I dont want to talk to. Like I am so weird. I am the kind of person that I just want to talk to someone that I want to talk to. Oookay. This sound so weird. The point is I wanna talk to you. Cause I feel so comfortable to tell you anything. And I am so stressef cause we've been like this. Ughhh what is wrong with you? It seems like you dont even want me. At all.

☆

Is it wrong to still have hope in this? I dont know. Maybe one day, i'm gonna let this go somehow. And when that one day come, I'm surely gonna let this all out.

Spm 2012

Yesterday was the happiest day for my school I think.. 9 people - 9A+ and 42 people straight a's. Awesome aite? Okay. Double awesome!! Ya Allah. Berikan kejayaan kepada ku dan rakan rakanku sperti mana kejayaan pd tahun ini. Gembirakanlah hati ibu serta guru2 aku. Hehe amin!!

N e v e r

Sometimes, you ought to think that you have a better life. Sometimes, you ought to pretend that everything is alright. You'll never expect this would come. You never think of it as this should not be happen in your life. You thought that this will only happen in drama or etc. You never see this coming. Never. Then what? What should you do? What will you do? What what..

This kind of things hurt so bad that whenever you want to talk about it, you tend to cry. You tend to lose every words that you want to say. All you can say is "I'm okay" "It's okay" "I'm fine"

This is just too hard. Too hard for me to accept this. Never thought that this would happen in my life. Never.

March

Already March. I dont even know what I am doing. I get lazier each day. And I dont know what should I do. Ugh help me please

Bij

Bitch bitch. Haha so awkward. I dont even know if I can ever trust you again.